Wednesday, February 07, 2007

LMAO: The straight poop on Ted Haggard

Stop the presses!! Defrocked evangelist Ted Haggard, the married minister who had sexual encounters with a male prostitute (along with the purchase of a modicum of meth), has gone to counseling and “discovered” that he is straight – discovered, he says. Apparently this announcement came with a straight face (pardon the pun). I assume it also came with crossed fingers. It would have been more interesting to know when he “discovered” he was gay … or bi … non-straight.

MEMO TO TED HAGGARD: If you have sex with men without being threatened with a .45 automatic pistol, you are NOT straight. By definition, “straight” guys do not have sex with men. You may think you are a sinner. You may never have sex with a man again (I say 50/50 chance), but you are not now, and probably never have been and never will be, straight. But, thanks for the laugh.

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